Audio Commentary

Listening to my audio commentary I realized that even though I tried to fix my thesis it was still in passive voice, therefore, making it longer than it should be. Another thing you pointed out was the fact that I was being too general in certain phrases such as “typical up-bringing of girls.” The ‘typical’ in the sentence may be controversial in the sense that I can’t assume all girls are raised the same way in order to prove my point. Also, in my word choice I decided to use the word ”dominated”, which I understand is a word that contradicts my thesis and what the series is trying to show. You suggested that I use “oppressive world” and this way women are seen not in a weakening stance, but rather a reality that is kept silent.

My conclusion was in fact rushed in the way that was I was saying was truly important and I just left it unfinished. I could have gone more from the specific to the general in order to talk about the true implications of lexicon in the feminine world.